Fear

It’s that person who, without even intending to, makes you adopt small strategies of distance. You change the settings on your WhatsApp, decide to make your photo and statuses visible to everyone except him. You delete his number, but you don’t block him; you don’t want to erase him from your life entirely, you just want to control that compulsion to text him all the time.

That dependence on wanting to say good morning and good night has started to weigh on you. Every time you look at your phone, hoping to see his name in a notification, you feel a mix of excitement and anger. It shouldn’t matter so much, and yet, it does.

The message that arrives when you least expect it and most desire it becomes a small victory, and that makes you hate him a little more.

– “You don’t write to me or anything… are you okay?”

– “Haha, yeah… I’ve spoiled you.”

– “Spoiled?”

He stays silent for a moment on the other side of the screen. Your evasive response doesn’t offer any clarity, but it’s intentional. You don’t want him to see the frustration in your words or the effort it takes not to reach out to him first. And even though he seems to want to get closer again, you know you must keep resisting. Because deep down, that distance is a favor you’re doing for yourself.

Every ignored message, every late and calculated response, is a small step toward emotional freedom.